When reading a good book, I get this feeling that swells in the back of my head and settles in my core... that is similar to the feeling I have when I listen to something like Mozart's Serenade No. 10 in B Flat Major (Adagio)... similar to how I feel when Daniel and I are laughing over a meal we've prepared together... this feeling of utter peace and contentment. The world can't be so bad if things like this exist. New York made me feel that way this week.
I was lonely this week because of Daniel's absence, especially not knowing anyone else in the city, and on top of that feeling altogether discouraged as my job search seems to be going nowhere. But there's too much to do in New York, even for the solitary and broke, that there was absolutely no excuse to wallow and watch French movies on Netflix all week!
So, other than filling out a zillion job applications per day, I've just been enjoying the sensation of living in New York. This means going to Central Park or Bryant Park with a good book, taking a leisurely stroll through gardens, indulging in enormous slices of pizza, and finding ways to make myself part of this community. Yesterday I went to a French conversation class in Bryant Park where I was joined by an actress, a model, an art dealer, and a hostage negotiator, among other interesting people! In the evening I volunteered at a charity:water event, writing thank you notes to their contributors. The other volunteers were just as interesting and sweet as the people I met in Bryant Park.
And even though the most important element of my life here is missing this week, I was still able to feel that peace and contentment in knowing that living here will be everything we hoped it would be. It hits me when I am people-watching in Bryant Park, when I am giving people directions in a subway station, when I am running errands through bustling streets, when I am listening to those absurd moments when Times Square is quiet enough to hear a NYPD horse clopping down the street, that I belong here, that Daniel and I belong here, and that we're very, very happy. I'm so thankful that I was able to let go of the anxiety about my job situation and loneliness long enough to feel that.